Life's Choices
by Dorkable
Summary: Years ago Chad walked out of Sonny's life to start a new one with Portlyn. So many things have happened since then, but now he's back and a choice Sonny makes may change all of their lives in ways they never expected. Eventual SonnyxChad.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I own absolutely nothing.

Life's Choices

The Past Is Always There

The building directory was constantly changing. There were a few offices that had been there for years, Harris and Hart Self-Help Clinic being one of them. New ones were a constant, though. The building manager was changing out names on a regular basis. The name he slid in today gave Tawni Hart reason to pause. _Chad Dylan Cooper, Office Manager_. It was odd, seeing that name. She hadn't thought of Chad in years. Not since he had transferred to some hoity-toity place in New York.

Portlyn had gone with him. Of course, she had been pregnant with his child at the time, so it hadn't been much of a surprise to see her go.

"Nico is going to love this," she murmured as she walked the mere four feet to the elevator.

Her pink pointy-toed Jimmy Choo's click-and-clacked against the white and gold marble floor. It was in this building that they had their first fight as partners. Nico had wanted some quaint little office by the waterfront. Or one of those prefabricated spaces the Condor Company offered. She had wanted to make a statement. Harris and Hart Self-Help Clinic wasn't going to be a cookie cutter facility. They were going to make a name for themselves. Not a name synonymous with failure, but a name that would make people nod in recognition. It was all about confidence. The appearance of success. An illusion to catalyze the dream. This building did just that. She had won that argument the way she usually won all of their arguments: threatening to spill to their clients the whole Cheese-Pants story. Now that he was old enough to appreciate the fact that what he had done as a teenager was completely embarrassing, it was easier to blackmail him with the information.

The office was empty when she entered, except for their oh-so somber receptionist. Ironically, it had been Nico who found Ms. Joy Bitterman. The sixty year-old woman made the perfect addition to their little "family," as Nico liked to call it. She was constantly reminding him that they were employees -- not family, not friends. He always managed to get emotionally involved with his subordinates on some level. And that was not acceptable when they were an aspiring company.

"Is Mr. Harris in yet?"

Joy looked up from the paperwork she was filing. "He's in his office, I believe." She was an efficient woman. She didn't wait for Tawni to say thank you; she knew it wouldn't be coming. She simply returned to filing.

Nico was indeed in his office, sitting behind his desk, fingers crossed, deep in thought. "You've seen the directory, right? That's what you're going to tell me. That you've seen Mr. Cooper's name in the directory." He looked up at her, his eyes intense.

Tawni nodded, setting her briefcase by the door before collapsing in one of the mahogany and navy striped wing back chairs that flanked his desk. His office had a homey feel to it. Nothing like her pink and fluffy one back down the hall. "Yes. Did you know?" She crossed her legs, smoothing down the slim pink skirt of her suit.

"No. Not till this morning. Caught Pike as he was changing out the directory. Guess he couldn't hack into it quickly enough."

"He never does," Tawni said smoothly. She drummed her french-tipped fingernails on the brocade upholstery. "Why do you think he came back?"

Nico shrugged. "Who knows. Heard him and Portlyn got divorced a few years ago. Maybe he got tired of being in her shadow. Wants to make a name for himself." At least that was what he was hoping. When he had first seen Chad's name he had almost panicked, thinking he knew. Then, he had shaken the thought off. Chad had left long before. There was no way for him to know.

"Sure. That makes sense. Have you called her yet? Given her fair warning?"

"I tried. Kept getting voice mail. She's probably shooting a scene."

It wasn't going to be easy. Telling Sonny that Chad was back. She would take it well, put on a show that she was fine, bottling up her real feelings. Sonny had always felt as if she wasn't allowed to curl up into a ball and cry. No. Sonny had always shouldered the blame and the hurt. It was only when she truly crumbled that her friends were welcome to pick up the pieces.

Tawni nodded. "What about Zora? Does she know?" Zora had been the only one of them to try to keep in touch with Chad. If emails once a year was keeping in touch, that is.

"Yeah, that's the thing I don't get. She knew. The least she could have done was warn everybody that the Evil Spawn was back." He didn't really think Chad was evil, or a spawn. He felt indifference where Chad was concerned. But the thought of his return, and all the subsequent pain associated with it, brought up long quieted feelings of bitterness.

"So she knew then," Tawni stated quietly, frowning. It wasn't like Zora to keep things from her. Given the circumstances, they all should have known.

"Yeah. She knew. She said Chad called her last night. They're supposed to meet for lunch," he said dryly. It was lunch; he knew that. Zora was happy with Mr. Hollaway. Her eyes never wandered. Still. Lunch with Chad. It didn't sit right with him.

Tawni shook her head. There was nothing they could do. Aside from giving Sonny fair warning. "Try Sonny again," she suggested, standing up. Smoothing her skirt down over her knees, she reached for her briefcase. Nico nodded, reaching for the phone on his desk. She didn't stay to find out if he was able to get through this time. She needed to call Zora to find out what the hell was going on.

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**A/N: I hope you guys liked the first chapter of my first story :) Please review! I'd also like to give a big shout-out to: pyrolyn-776, faerietaleredux, Pwnguin, dodging words and Loved-Invention!**** They all really helped me with proof-reading it; catching grammatical errors and such. Especially you, pyro :D You helped me stay consistent with my tenses throughout the entire story! And you, faerietaleredux! You helped me out so much with everything. And Loved-Invention - you caught some errors of mine, too. :D And Pwnguin :D You were so supportive. You too, dodging words :) Thank you! Okay, I think I'm going to stop now, because this Author's Note is starting to sound a lot like an acceptance speech that you make at some sort of awards. So please remember to review. Ta-ta for now!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

Chapter Two

Old Friends

It wasn't any surprise that half way to the restaurant the skies opened up and unleashed their misery. Zora mentally cursed herself for not having the foresight to carry an umbrella or wear a waterproof coat. Placing a hand on her swollen abdomen, she jogged across the semi-busy street. Her feet had barely hit the curb when the red light that had allowed her to cross turned green. Past experience had taught her to get as far away from the curb as possible, unless she wanted to wear muddy water, which she did _not_. Sure enough, a large truck sent a spray of muck flying onto the sidewalk. A man who had crossed the street behind her shouted obscenities as he brushed sludge from his khaki pants.

"Common sense, my man, common sense," she mused to herself. It didn't take a genius to know something large and fast would send water flying in all directions. Everyone knew. Except the man behind her. She ducked into the restaurant, shivering a bit. Funny, how she hadn't been cold out in the rain, but the moment she hit a warm interior, she was frozen. Scanning the room for a familiar face, she smiled when she found it. Her grin only grew as she made her way to the booth where Chad was seated, reading a newspaper. Pressing the paper down, she forced her face into a serious expression. "Reading the New York Times while in L.A. is just wrong."

Chad looked up, frowning. It took him a moment, then he grinned. "Zora!" Standing, he engulfed her in an awkward hug, mindless of his spotless attire and her damp one. "Look at you, putting on the pounds, I see."

Zora laughed, placing both hands on her stomach. "Yes. Got another two months to pack 'em on, too. I think this one is going to be a boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I'm carrying him up high. Which Tawni and Sonny both swear that means it's a girl, but I don't. I promised Hollaway a son this time, and by golly I'm going to give him a son!" Sliding into the opposite side of the booth from where Chad had been sitting, she grimaced. "You would think they would take pregnant women in consideration when making these damn things."

Chad smiled faintly. He looked like he wanted to ask something, but then changed his mind. "How have you been? Other than toting another human being around?"

"Just peachy. I replaced Marshall after he retired from _So Random! _After basically all of us retired from the show." It had been strange at first. Taking Marshall's position when she was named the co-executive. There hadn't been anyone else to fill the void, though. So, she had stepped up.

"Oh yeah? How's that going?" Chad leaned back in the booth, smiling that charming dimpled grin he always smiled. He hadn't changed much. The only difference was the air of maturity around him.

"Well..you know. The gang's the gang. We haven't changed too much." She had sent him an email saying as much. As with most of the emails she sent him, he never responded.

"Yeah. Sorry I didn't respond. Keeping busy. Work. Kylie." His voice softened a bit when saying his daughter's name.

Zora nodded. The one constant in his emails was Kylie. There had been pictures attached a couple times. Pretty girl with long strawberry blond hair and large blue eyes. It was hard to say who she looked like. Zora didn't see Chad or Portlyn. Hollaway had one time made the remark that she looked bit like Sean, another cast mate of _Mackenzie Falls._ This was ridiculous, because Kylie was Chad's daughter. "So, how's she taking it? You moving out here?" It hadn't been an easy choice, she knew that from his email. He just couldn't take being in the same town, the same state, as Portlyn. Their divorce had not gone smoothly. Chad had admitted to having at least one affair. A co-worker. He wasn't proud of that, he had just wanted to feel like he mattered to someone. Someone who didn't act as though he was their personal puppet.

"Not too happy about it. I just...couldn't stay, you know?" Chad sighs, taking a sip of his coffee. "She's sick, Zora."

"Who? Kylie?" she asked, frowning. She had known there was a reason for this lunch. "By sick, you mean sore throat, achy head, right?"

"I wish. She's got A.L.L.," Chad stared at something behind her. No. Not something, nothing. He was lost in thought. About Kylie, no doubt.

"I'm sorry. How long have you known?" Zora lays a hand on her stomach. She couldn't imagine what he was going through. Whenever her two year old daughter, Eva so much as coughed she worried. To find out she had leukemia, even if it was acute lymphocytic, she couldn't grasp how terrifying that had to be. Yes, the cure rate was high. Upwards of 90% with medication. Still, it was scary.

"For a while. We've been through everything. Chemo. Even went the bone marrow route. Some fancy thing where they reuse her own marrow. God, I've heard the name of the procedure so many times...I can't remember what it's called," he chuckled sadly. "I should know what it's called. I do know what it's called. Just isn't coming to me right now."

Zora reached across the table. She took a hold of his hand. "I'm sorry. I know that doesn't mean much. It wouldn't mean much to me if..if I was in your shoes. Are...are they saying you're out of options?" It sucked. It sucked beyond all reason that Kylie had to be in that 10 who didn't respond to treatment the way she should.

"Aside from suggesting Portlyn and I have another child for the sole purpose of donating their marrow to Kylie, not really. I couldn't stay, Zora. I know that makes me a coward, but I just...I couldn't stay there and watch my little girl die." His voice was thick, his eyes blurry with unshed tears.

Biting her lip, Zora looked at their intertwined hands. "Do...do they think a sibling would help?" Her heart was pounding. This wasn't her place. This wasn't her decision. Yet, she couldn't sit here, knowing what she knew, and not say something.

"Yeah, but...I can't do it Zora. I can't bring another child into this world just...just because...you know? And I sure as hell don't want another reason for Portlyn to bitch at me." There was a resigned tone to his voice. As though he had given up hope.

Zora took a deep breath. "Oh God, forgive me," she whispered quietly. "Chad, I think you need to talk to Sonny."

Chad let out a rueful laugh. "Unless Sonny's a miracle worker, I don't think we would have much to say to each other. We didn't exactly part on amicable terms."

This wasn't her place. She hated being in the position she was in. The position where she had to pick a side. Taking a deep breath, she looked at Chad, her eyes full of anguish. "When..when you left L.A., Sonny...Sonny was pregnant. She was four months pregnant. And...I think...no...I know...I know that her daughter belongs to you."

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**A/N: **Thank you for the reviews and the favorites. I hope this chapter was worth the wait, although I doubt it. This chapter sort of foreshadowed what's to come. I promise I'll update more quickly next time. Thank you once again! And I _really_ wouldn't mind if you reviewed. :P


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

Chapter Three

Sucker Punched

_The night was cold. Sonny hunched her shoulders, burrowing deeper into the dusky brown quilted jacket she wore. Dusk was falling, slowly overtaking the bright orange and yellow hues. The playful colors fought against the overwhelming darkness. Twinkling stars started to dot the sky; the sun's light slowly losing the battle. Her dark eyes scanned the almost empty parking lot until they fell on a tall, blond-haired man walking toward a cherry red Honda. Chad.  
_

_"Chad," she called out. Her heart pounded as she crossed the damp cement to where he was standing. He wore a guarded mask on his face. She didn't blame him; there was a lot of history between the two of them, some of which isn't the greatest. "Do you have a minute?"_

_Chad hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah. Sure. I've been meaning to talk to you anyways."_

_Sonny's heart started to accelerate. Perhaps this was going to be easier than she thought. "I've been meaning to talk to you, too." She stepped in closer, a smile lifting the corners of her lips. She was a bit startled at the emotions she felt coursing through her. She knew she loved him - had always loved him. "I've really missed you Chad. It's been weird the last month or so, not talking. I hate that. Us not talking. I hate the way things ended between us."_

_"Yeah. Me too," he answered. Misery was evident in his voice._

_"Really?" She looked at him closely, excitement building where dread had been when he nodded slowly. "I have something to tell you."_

_Horror crossed his face. "Don't Sonny. Don't say it." He looked down; then looked back up, his features twisting into something akin to resignation. "I'm getting married."_

_Her lips parted. No. This wasn't happening. "To who?" she cried. She tried to recall if she had seen him with anyone but drew a blank._

_"Portlyn. We…that is…she's pregnant."_

_This wasn't happening, Sonny thought again. Tears started to burn her eyes. She shoved them back. She wasn't going to cry. She had already resigned herself to being alone. Chad marrying Portlyn and having a baby with her didn't change anything. "I…I'm happy for you," she choked out, before turning to stride towards her car. She heard him calling her name but kept on walking. She knew that if she didn't she would blurt out what she had come to say. Chad didn't need anything more thrown at him. Portlyn needed him, she didn't._

_The inevitable twilight battle between the sun and the moon came to an end. The night sky had won, as it always would. The flaming hues died down, only to be replaced by a deep blue. That was the night when everything came spiraling down.  
_

"Mommy?"

Sonny let out a sigh, snapping out of her reverie. "Yes, Lizzie?"

"Can I go outside and play with my friends?"

"Of course you can, sweetie. I'm going to go walk the dog in a minute."

"Okay, I'll be right outside."

"Alright."

-

The house was exactly where Zora said it would be. It was one of those _Leave it to Beaver_ kind of neighborhoods, where the lawns were perfectly cut and kids played outside. Sonny's supposed house was crowded by a bunch of little girls.

Slowing his car down, Chad tried to catch his breath. He had replayed the night he had told Sonny that Portlyn was pregnant and they were getting married. She had told him she had something she needed to tell him, something important. He had cut her off, thinking she was about to tell him she had changed her mind - that she wanted to pick up where they had left off. At the time, he had thought he was doing her a favor, saving her the humiliation of hearing he had to choose Portlyn. What a fool he had been. He should have heard her out. He had no doubt that Sonny had been about to tell him about the baby. His mouth lifted up a bit at the corners. Elizabeth Daniella Munroe. What a beautiful name.

Sitting in the car, gripping the steering wheel, he stared out at the group of girls. All of them were the right age. He ruled out the tall, thin girl with coffee colored skin and large chocolate-colored eyes. That left a short, almost pudgy girl with frizzy red hair and glasses; a petite girl with almost white blond hair pulled up in pig tails, and a slender girl with dark chestnut-colored hair and golden colored skin. The red haired girl was ruled out when an older version of her yelled that it was time for dinner and mom said to 'come now, no buts'.

The door to the white, two-story that belonged to Sonny opened. A potbellied golden retriever wandered out first, followed by a familiar brunette. She hadn't changed, really. Her hair was still chocolate-brown, pulled back in a loose ponytail. She still smiled that sweet, girl next door smile. After almost ten years, he had thought he would be over her by now, but she still had the ability to bring him to his knees - to leave him feeling as though someone had sucker punched him.

Sonny looped the red leash on one wrist, and adjusted an iPod with the other. He could hear her call the name 'Lizzie', along with 'Megan'. The tiny blond and the golden skinned girl both immediately tell the other girl 'bye' and run to meet Sonny. It was hard to tell which girl was her's - she was fawning over them both. It wasn't until she patted the paler child and told her that her mother was home, that he knew. What little air he had left when he saw Sonny wrap an arm around the waist of her daughter, tugging the long chestnut-colored ponytail. _Their daughte_r, he corrects silently.

The girl said something to her mother, getting a laugh and nod. She took the leash, bending to scratch the rusty blond head of the dog. The dog could barely walk, his stomach dragging on the ground.

They were a block away when Chad worked up the courage to park his car. Two blocks away when he had the nerve to get out.

Standing on the side walk in front of their house, Chad stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He had every right to go up to Sonny; to demand an explanation. Except _she_ would be there. Lizzie. And she didn't deserve that. He had no clue what Sonny had told her, if she had told her anything. He needed a game plan. He had made the decision to walk back to his car, to drive to his nearly empty apartment, then call. He didn't quite make it. Instead, the dog he thought incapable of moving very fast was barreling down the side walk full speed. Lizzie and Sonny were right behind him. Chad stared in shock as the dog ran towards him. Muddy feet jumped up on his legs, large doe brown eyes stare up at him.

"I am so sorry..." Sonny's voice trailed off as she recognized him. Her face grew pale under her normally golden skin. Taking hold of the leash, she handed it to Lizzie. "Go inside sweetie, mommy needs to talk...just go inside. Please. Wash Button's feet off in the garage, if you don't mind."

Lizzie frowned, looking from her mother to Chad. "Do you know him?"

Sonny nodded. "Um..yeah. He's a...an old friend." The explanation seemed to satisfy Lizzie. She flashed Chad a grin so similar to his own, then bent down to heave Button into her arms. The pair struggled towards the garage, the little girl giggling as the dog licked her face. "I figured you would show up. Just thought I would have a bit more time. Or that you would call first."

It wasn't exactly what he had expected. In fact, it was nothing like he had expected. Then it dawned on him. She knew that he knew. "Zora?" She nodded, crossing her arms. She glanced to the now open garage. Lizzie was wrestling the retriever to the ground, trying to spray the mud from his feet.

"Did she tell you why she told me?"

* * *

**A/N: **Here's the third chapter. Not much of a cliff-hanger. I promise this story will get more exciting as it goes along. I hope you guys enjoyed. Review please?


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **Ownage of nothing.

Chapter Four

Confrontation

From the moment the pregnancy test had read positive, Sonny had known this day would come. Shortly after Lizzie's birth, she had thought about calling him. Telling him about their beautiful daughter. Then Sonny had gotten the first email. It had been short. Just a quick note to announce the birth of one Kylie Elaina Cooper. There had been a picture attached. One that had shown Chad and Portlyn holding their tiny daugher with her spiky reddish blond hair. She couldn't call, not after seeing that photo. She couldn't destroy what looked to be a happy family. So, she had made the choice to wait. She would wait until her daughter asked about the father who wasn't there. It had come when Lizzie was four. If she had noticed that her friends had fathers, she never said. Not until the end of preschool.

Sonny could still remember that sweet faced little girl looking up at her, from eyes so like her father's, and asking where her daddy was, because she had a card for him. They had made Father's Day cards at school, and she needed to give her's to her father. It had been all Sonny could do not to cry. Instead, she had taken the card from Lizzie, wrote a five page letter to Chad, telling him about their daughter, begging him to forgive her, and mailed it in care of the company where he and Portlyn worked. The letter was returned two weeks later. If it had just been returned, it wouldn't have mattered as much. Except, it wasn't just returned. It had a rather nasty note scribbled on the back from Portlyn telling her to stay out of their lives. She had taken the unopened letter and stuck it in a box. The box was full of father's day cards and what-nots that Lizzie had made over the years, always trusting that her mother was getting them to her father.

Looking over at her daughter, she smiled faintly. She couldn't help it. No matter how ugly a situation was, one look at her daughter and the world was made right once again. Lizzie smiled back at her, dimples indenting either cheek. Funny, she had never noticed how much Lizzie looked like Chad until now. She had never had the guts to take their pictures and lay them side by side. She looked back at Chad, the faint grin fading. The question he had asked was logical. "She told me about Kylie. I'm sorry. I...I can't imagine what Portlyn and you are going through."

Chad nodded, his face growing more somber. There were a million questions running through his mind. That much was obvious. "I need to know if Lizzie is a donor match for Kylie."

Sonny tried not to be angry. He had raised Kylie. From the moment she had breathed her first breath until now, he had been there. Loving her, teaching her things. It was natural that she would be his first concern, but dammit what about Lizzie? Wasn't he the least bit curious about her? Or was she just some useful commodity to save his other daughter? "Did you think I would say no?" That hurt almost as much as him not asking about Lizzie.

"I don't know what to think Sonny," he said softly, looking toward the garage. Both child and dog were soaking wet. Bell-like giggles echoed through the air.

"I know. And...I'm sorry. I truly am sorry Chad." God she was sorry. More than he would ever know.

It had been three weeks before her due date that she had realized she loved him. Realizing that had almost driven her over the edge. If it hadn't been Zora and Tawni, Nico and Grady as well, she would have sunk into a depression. Tawni had been the one to make her realize that she couldn't think about herself anymore. She had to think about her child. She was no longer just Sonny. She was a mother. And mother's put their own feelings aside to do what is best for their child. She could almost hear Tawni saying the words again.

Sonny shook her head sadly. "I should have told you that night. Regardless of how upset I was about Portlyn...I should have told you. I was going to tell you. I was...you...if you don't believe another word I say, at least believe that."

"Yeah. I know. I put two and two together. After Zora told me." Chad shifted around, looking at the damp ground. It was partially wet from the rain earlier, and partially from the running water hose.

"I just...I didn't know what to do. When you told me about Portlyn...I..I didn't know what to do. So, I said nothing. I didn't want to put you in the position to have to choose. So, right or wrong, I made the choice for you. And...I'm sorry. I am." She couldn't say it enough. She was sorry. Not that her apologies amounted to much.

"Stop it!" They both turn when they hear Lizzie screaming. She was on the garage floor, covering her face with her hands while Button jumped on her. She loved the dog. Had loved him from the time she had unwrapped the box he was in on her third birthday. It was when he jumped and got in her face that she became upset.

"Buttons!" Sonny snapped. The dog looked up at her, then lowered his head. He walked off to a dark corner of the garage. To pout no doubt. He knew better. She started up the drive, Lizzie meeting her half way. "Go inside. Get some dry clothes on. Make sure you put the wet ones in the washer, not on the floor." Kissing the smooth forehead, she gave Lizzie a gentle push toward the door that led to the kitchen, via a washroom.

"Do I know him?" Lizzie stared back down the drive where Chad stood waiting.

"No. He's a friend. From my past." As usual, Lizzie trusted what she was said. Watching as her daughter slammed into the house, she let out a sigh of disgust. She should have just told her. She should have worked up the courage to tell her that Chad was her father. Except then Lizzie would get her hopes up. She would ask him about the cards she had made him, cards that were in a box under her mother's bed.

"Is that what I'm always going to be? A friend from your past?"

She jumped. She hadn't seen him come into the garage. "What am I suppose to tell her, Chad?" There. The ball was in his court. 'Please God,' she prayed silently, 'let him want to be a father to her. Let him want to get to know her. She needs him.'

"I don't know, Sonny." It was all she could do not to turn on him and scream. Didn't he even care? No. He probably didn't. He was just so wrapped up in Portlyn and her daughter, that he didn't care. Her eyes burned a bit. She wouldn't cry, though. Not in front him. She would wait until she was in the shower. That was the one place she knew she could cry without worry that Lizzie would see and get upset.

"Then we stick with you being an old friend," she said tensely. She blinked a bit. Before she could stop it one tear slipped down her cheek. It slowly wound down, pausing on her jaw before dripping onto her shoulder. She bites her lip, trying to keep from saying things she shouldn't. The anger of being a single mother for nine years was welling up inside her. "Don't you care? Don't you care one bit about her? Or...what? She's just..just...something else to use to save Kylie? She's your daughter, Chad. Your flesh and blood. And you don't care. You just...you don't care, do you?" Did she even want the answer to that? Probably not. It was better to know, though.

"Is that what you think? That I don't care? What am I suppose to do, Sonny? _You _kept her from me." He stopped, his jaw tightening.

"I didn't keep her from you! I wanted to tell you! I was going to tell you. You just didn't give me the chance. You were too busy telling me all about your upcoming marriage to Portlyn. And...the child you were going to have together. When, during that little speech, was I suppose to say I was going to have a baby? When was I suppose to say something? I wanted to. I wanted to tell you...but..I just couldn't." The tears she had been fighting burst loose. They streamed down her cheeks. "Then, when she was born...I tried to...I was going to call...but..every time I picked up the phone I couldn't dial the number...because...I didn't know how I was suppose to tell you. When I finally got the courage up to...to call, Zora forwarded Kylie's birth announcement. And...I couldn't...couldn't bear the thought of destroying that baby's perfect world." She wiped at her cheeks. She couldn't explain how good it felt to just say all the things that had been bottled up inside.

"You should have done it. For Lizzie. You should have picked up the damn phone and called!" He was fighting not yell. She knew him well enough to know that. Some things never changed. "Don't you think Lizzie needed her father, too?"

"You think I don't know that! I know that better than anyone, Chad! I'm the one who has to lie to her child. Me. Not you! Stupid damn cards. Every damn year. Every year they make those stupid ass father's day cards...and...she gives it to me. To mail to you. She thinks I mail them to her father. To you. I tried that once, you know? The first one. I felt so sick that she didn't have a daddy to give that card to. So I sucked it up, wrote you a letter...telling you about her...put the card in there...along with a bunch of pictures. Got it back two weeks later with a nice note from Portlyn to leave you alone. I tried...and I know that she needed..._needs_ you!" Her body was shaking. A weight was lifted, though. The weight of keeping it all inside.

The blood had drained from his face, leaving him a sickly yellowish color. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed. "You...you sent me a letter?" She nodded, crossing her arms. It had grown a bit chilly. There was a crisp breeze that hadn't been there before. A sure sign that summer would be ending soon. "Was it open? When you got it back?"

Sonny shook her head. "No. It wasn't open. Portlyn just wrote return to sender on the front of it. Then her little note on the back. She didn't know about Lexie, if that's what you're thinking. If she had...she would have contacted me. About Kylie. And the...the testing. She would have done what you're doing now. Used my child to help her's."

He stared at her, making her shift around uncomfortably. She had thought she had buried her feelings for him a long time ago. Apparently she hadn't, because they were rearing their ugly head. "I didn't come just because of Kylie, Sonny," he said in a husky tone. For the first time, she noticed the hurt in his eyes. "I love Kylie. She's my baby. Despite everything Portlyn and I have been through...despite what we did to each other...Kylie was right. When she first got sick, I was the kind of dad doctors hate. The one who showed up at the appointments with suggestions. Tried every last one of them too. None of them worked. Tried chemo. Watched her swell up. Watched her lose all her hair. Didn't do a bit of good. Slowed it down a bit, but didn't fix anything. Her last appointment, doctor suggested a sibling donor.

"Portlyn was all over that one. Wanted to run right down to the nearest fertility clinic. She knew better than to suggest having one the old fashioned way. I couldn't do it. Not even to save Kylie. I couldn't stomach the thought of bringing a child into this world just because their bone marrow _might _save their sister's life. Portlyn called me every name in the book. Said I was a sorry excuse for a father. That was always her favorite. I was a sorry ass father. I wasn't, though, Sonny. Every dance recital, every school award, I was there. I might have sucked in the husband department, but I was a good father!" He paused, running a hand over his chin. " I couldn't stay. I couldn't stay and watch her die."

Sonny's heart broke a bit. She didn't know what to say, so she said nothing at all.

"When Zora told me about Lizzie, my first thought was about whether or not she could help Kylie. I'll admit that. You can't blame me for that, Sonny. You can't blame me for wanting to save my child." He was pleading now. Needing her to understand. She did. To a point she understood.

"I don't blame you Chad. And...if Lizzie matches...I'm not going to say she can't help. That you can't use her to help Kylie. But...what about her? What about Lizzie? Where does she fit in your life? Or doesn't she?" It was a lot to lay on him. Asking him where the daughter he had known about less than an hour would fit into his life. She had to know though, for Lizzie's sake.

It seemes like an eternity before Chad answered her. "She's my daughter, too. I'm not going to just walk away. I can't. I wouldn't have...if I had known...I can't just walk away."

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**A/N:** Sorry that it took me awhile to get this one out there. I hope you enjoyed :) Thank you! And please, please review!


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